A very positive kitten! (and some gloomier things)

Hi! It's been an eternity! I hope you're all doing fine and having nice time. : D

Do you know what? I share my rooms with a KITTEN now! : 3


He's a lovely little creature, always purring and playing and doing his own thing! Fighting against the stereotypic representation of typical cat, he is a social butterfly who enjoys the human, cat and dog company. He sings songs to birds, checks the well-being of toilet every morning and isn't intimidated by the size of a garbage truck. All in all, he's a very open-minded and brave little cat.

He also loves the full variety of alphates. For example "F" such as in "Food" and "little Felt balls".

And "W" such as  in "Walking outside" (in a leash) and "drinking from a Watercolour cup". The latter practice - unfortunately - is for some reason largely prohibited. He really can't understand why, as he sees no reason in favouring the colourless liquid over coloured liquid. He personally has nothing against colours. : /


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And then, to the darker subjects. I recommend you skip the rest of this post if you don't care to read about my personal life and it's many turns. ": )

I’m writing this post only because I have a feeling that I owe an apology to many people here on dA. My leave was quite sudden and even though I tried to come back online, I didn’t succeed in my attempts. I only hope my actions weren’t interpreted as rude, unthankful or not caring. I still feel bad for all the conversations left unfinished and messages left unreplied. : (

However, the gloomy part of this post:

I was battling with mild depression already in 2008 when I originally joined Deviantart. I was studying in the gymnasium at that time and throughout my studies, dA had a very special place in my heart. It represented motivation and urge to grow as an artist, and I was inspired by all the talented people and their creations. The best part was that I met people, similar-minded people with great interest in creating things of their own. I even made friends. It was just plain awesome and I still kind of miss that warm feeling of belonging.

I also remember it being chaotic, to say the least. On the one hand, I was making more or less steady progress in my studies and I had my own little niche on dA. I wrote fiction, painted, drew, did crafts, played a musical instrument, read, did sports and went to gatherings. In a time period of single weekend, I could paint several large scale intricate aquarelles, finish a couple books and produce a ton of sketches. I actually did all the preliminary pieces that were needed for applying into Graphic Arts in one night – from start to finish. I even was accepted to the next stage of the process, but failed the two days test that followed.

And then, on the other hand, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate, and I had a hard time enjoying anything I did. I could go on for weeks with just few hours of sleep per night until I literally fell sick. Unless I was very high, I was very low. So very, very low. I forgot things, had problems with anxiety and felt hollow, unreal and frustrated. The final straw was the failure in the entrance examinations for the University, after which it all just fell apart. I wasn’t able to pursue anything visual arts related nor write for months. Instead I worked at a local library and had a relatively happy time there. (I even learned how to watch movies, again. Nice times.) Actually it took me a full year to recollect myself and rebuild my life.

All in all, leaving dA was not a conscious choice. Instead it was just something I was forced to do since I could no longer manage even the simplest of things – like evaluate an intelligible way to respond to a “Hello!”-message. It felt bad back then, and it still feels a little bad when I think about it. I really had wonderful time here on dA. Chatting with people, participating in art trades and getting valuable feedback and support was great. So great.

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Nowadays I still suffer from recurring depression and anxiety, but my anxiety is not as bad as it used to be. I study Literature at University level and I lead a relatively simple, slow-paced life (with a kitten!). I still have a hard time answering to messages and it takes a lot of concentration and motivation from me to participate in social medias. Nonetheless, I’m feeling better and I enjoy the sense of having a control over my own life. Thus, I won’t promise my stay on dA will be indefinite but I try my best to make it as long and profitable as I can. : D

It would be nice to hear how you folks are doing(?) I just hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings in past. : S